The rumours of my promiscuity have been greatly exaggerated. I used to be anonymous, invisible to just about everyone. If Google Earth were a guy, he couldn’t find me if I was dressed up as a 10-story building. Pretty cutting-edge stuff, huh? A high school student feeling anonymous. Who am I? What does it all mean? Why am I here? Blah. But don’t worry; this isn’t one of those tales. Though it sure started out that way. And then it changed pretty quickly when I started lying about some very personal things.
So let the record show that I, Timothy Jackson Drake, being of sound mind, and above-average brain capacity, swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Starting now.
I HAVE ESTABLISHED
THAT I’M NOT ALLOWED TO LOOK AT BATMAN STUFF
AND WATCH A MOVIE
AT THE SAME TIME
(ps: Tim, your hair is impossible)